Sex Before Marriage part 2

Neko is different. I gotta respect that. When I asked him if he can just get laid with someone else, he said "no." What boyfriend does that? I may have wanted to bail out on the losing-my-virginity-with-a-hot-guy date. I am afraid for the thousandth time. Afraid of what? I don't know. I wanna just be easy, pills and condoms. Hitting that 1-8 with no worries. It's so sad. I told him I loved him and it didn't matter what he do. He was so mad. I didn't care. I told him I have shit to do at VOX. That was very much true. After all, I've abandoned VOX last Saturday and the only art meeting out this month. What kinda impression is this for being the art coordinator? So I gave up, and told him that if he wanna fuck so bad then we can do it. All of a sudden,"I don't wanna do it, if you don't want to." he says. Nigga wtf? Did it matter if I wanted to do it? Did sex has to be something for both of us to enjoy? I told him to stop being an idiot and I can lay off everything just to have his way. It was almost like a test a little bit. I wanted him to hear the irritation in my voice and understand how I feel. No, instead he says that I can do me. The best answer I heard from a boy. I let it be. I don't want to make him feel terrible...but I won't let a guy tell me what's right. He was a bitch to tell me to do me, and to say that he will support me. Now, who runs who?