The Blue Period

I don't know. I'm currently reading Twilight, a vampiric novel. It reminds me of Neko, and the more I read, the more I started to miss Neko. It's strange. I wanna call him, but I already did. He says he'll be going clubbin' tonight. It's weird when I picture him going to a club. I wish I was there with him. But now, I just wish I can call him and tell him that I love him......I think. He just makes me give in to him when he tells me this. I can't give in to him. He's a senior, 18, and is ten times mature than I could ever be. He might even forget about me in the long run, I just, I don't know.
I am in my blue period again. Relationships make me sad. I don't know. I just wanna be alone most of the time like now. I'm surrounded by my stoopid sisters and my attitude has got the best of me. My mindset is back into anti-social status. I feel like I have lost a war or my hart is broken. But no, it's something else. I feel like I wanna be alone with music and food. One girl and guy for pleasure and a pet that won't die on me. Roaming the world alone is the best. I am like in the mood in calling my friends and breaking off with them. It's going to suck. I don't think I would though, I'll just wait till I get older. I wanted a job, and an apartment and I can secretly have a pet cat. I mean, I would have a dog too, but apartments don't deal with animals to well.
No seriously, I don't want a boyfriend or girlfriend anymore. I don't want to have friends anymore. It sickens me...